Since I was 13 or 14, I’ve lived with debilitating fear, intense OCD, hypervigilance, and over-responsibility. I relied on SSRI (medication), on the behavioral tools I had, and on reframing experiences to keep going with life and my values, even when the terror never left. I also became extremely attuned to relational cues, and in many ways I was frozen and never knew it.

Obsessive compulsive disorder became the paradigm in which I viewed my life. The diagnosis was both incredibly relieving and remarkably scary. My manifestation of it ranged from overt physical compulsions to hours upon hours ruminating internally. By the time I came into touch with Exposure Response Prevention and behavioral therapy I was about 18.

Polyvagal Theory specifically has a view of trauma as it relates to the nervous system that is incredibly revealing and insightful and grants us all access to the intervening variable of our physiology. This in and of itself can begin to help us reshape our inner narratives as we become more attuned to ways in which our nervous system organized itself to save our lives. We can now learn to befriend and honor that very system from which we’ve been estranged.

My name is Gedaliah, and I am a trauma-informed, Polyvagal Theory–informed, and parts-informed certified life coach, and an SSP and RRP provider. My work blends lived experience with these approaches to support systems in feeling seen, settled, and held.